Tessa
"There are two ways of spreading light ...To be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it." - Edith Wharton
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Sorry!!!
to anyone who got an email from me with a link to a website - please delete it. My email was hacked and that email is spam. I'm sorry and I'm working on fixing the problem. If any others come through please delete them - I never send emails with just a link - there will always be a message from me.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Let's Not Forget Christmas!
I came across this story many years ago when I was in college and used it for a reading in one of my speech classes. I fell in love with it and have read it each year since as a reminder to not get caught up in the frivolity of the commercialized season.
... and beyond this there lies in the ocean, turned towards the west and the north, the island of Niatirb which Hecataeus indeed declares to be the same size and shape as Sicily, but it is larger, and though in calling it triangular a man would not miss the mark. It is densely inhabited by men who wear clothes not very different from other barbarians who occupy the north- western parts of Europe though they do not agree with them in language. These islanders, surpassing all the men of whom we know in patience and endurance, use the following customs.
In the middle of winter when fogs and rains most abound they have a great festival which they call Exmas , and for fifty days they prepare for it in the fashion I shall describe. First of all, every citizen is obliged to send to each of his friends and relations a square piece of hard paper stamped with a picture, which in their speech is called an Exmas-card . But the pictures represent birds sitting on branches, or trees with a dark green prickly leaf, or else men in such garments as the Niatirbians believe that their ancestors wore two hundred years ago riding in coaches such as their ancestors used, or houses with snow on their roofs. And the Niatirbians are unwilling to say what these pictures have to do with the festival, guarding (as I suppose) some sacred mystery. And because all men must send these cards the market-place is filled with the crowd of those buying them, so that there is great labour and weariness.
But having bought as many as they suppose to be sufficient, they return to their houses and find there the like cards which others have sent to them. And when they find cards from any to whom they also have sent cards, they throw them away and give thanks to the gods that this labour at least is over for another year. But when they find cards from any to whom they have not sent, then they beat their breasts and wail and utter curses against the sender; and, having sufficiently lamented their misfortune, they put on their boots again and go out into the fog and rain and buy a card for him also. And let this account suffice about Exmas-cards.
They also send gifts to one another, suffering the same things about the gifts as about the cards, or even worse. For every citizen has to guess the value of the gift which every friend will send to him so that he may send one of equal value, whether he can afford it or not. And they buy as gifts for one another such things as no man ever bought for himself. For the sellers, understanding the custom, put forth all kinds of trumpery, and whatever, being useless and ridiculous, sell as an Exmas gift. And though the Niatirbians profess themselves to lack sufficient necessary things, such as metal, leather, wood and paper, yet an incredible quantity of these things is wasted every year, being made into the gifts.
But during these fifty days the oldest, poorest and the most miserable of citizens put on false beards and red robes and walk in the market-place; being disguised (in my opinion) as Cronos. And the sellers of gifts no less than the purchasers become pale and weary, because of the crowds and the fog, so that any man who came into a Niatirbian city at this season would think that some great calamity had fallen on Niatirb. This fifty days of preparation is called in their barbarian speech the Exmas Rush .
But when the day of the festival comes, then most of the citizens, being exhausted with the Rush , lie in bed till noon. But in the evening they eat five times as much supper as on other days and, crowning themselves with crowns of paper, they become intoxicated. And on the day after Exmas they are very grave, being internally disordered by the supper and the drinking and reckoning how much they have spent on gifts and on the wine. For wine is so dear among the Niatirbians that a man must swallow the worth of a talent before he is well intoxicated.
Such, then, are their customs about the Exmas. But the few among the Niatirbians have also a festival, separate and to themselves, called Crissmas , which is on the same day as Exmas. And those who keep Crissmas, doing the opposite to the majority of the Niatirbians, rise early on that day with shining faces and go before sunrise to certain temples where they partake of a sacred feast. And in most of the temples they set out images of a fair woman with a new-born Child on her knees and certain animals and shepherds adoring the Child. (The reason of these images is given in a certain sacred story which I know but do not repeat.)
But I myself conversed with a priest in one of these temples and asked him why they kept Crissmas on the same day as Exmas; for it appeared to me inconvenient. But the priest replied, “It is not lawful, O Stranger, for us to change the date of Crissmas, but would that Zeus would put it into the minds of the Niatirbians to keep Exmas at some other time or not to keep it at all. For Exmas and the Rush distract the minds even of the few from sacred things. And we indeed are glad that men should make merry at Crissmas; but in Exmas there is no merriment left.”
And when I asked him why they endured the Rush, he replied, “It is, O Stranger, a racket, using (as I suppose) the words of some oracle and speaking unintelligibly to me (for a racket is an instrument which the barbarians use in a game called tennis ).
But what Hecataeus says, that Exmas and Crissmas are the same, is not credible. For the first, the pictures which are stamped on the Exmas-cards have nothing to do with the sacred story which the priests tell about Crissmas. And secondly, the most part of the Niatirbians, not believing the religion of the few, nevertheless send the gifts and cards and participate in the Rush and drink, wearing paper caps. But it is not likely that men, even being barbarians, should suffer so many and great things in honour of a god they do not believe in. And now, enough about Niatirb.
C.S. Lewis, God in the Dock,
"Xmas and Christmas: A Lost Chapter from Herodotus"
(1st published in Time and Tide, 1954)
... and beyond this there lies in the ocean, turned towards the west and the north, the island of Niatirb which Hecataeus indeed declares to be the same size and shape as Sicily, but it is larger, and though in calling it triangular a man would not miss the mark. It is densely inhabited by men who wear clothes not very different from other barbarians who occupy the north- western parts of Europe though they do not agree with them in language. These islanders, surpassing all the men of whom we know in patience and endurance, use the following customs.
In the middle of winter when fogs and rains most abound they have a great festival which they call Exmas , and for fifty days they prepare for it in the fashion I shall describe. First of all, every citizen is obliged to send to each of his friends and relations a square piece of hard paper stamped with a picture, which in their speech is called an Exmas-card . But the pictures represent birds sitting on branches, or trees with a dark green prickly leaf, or else men in such garments as the Niatirbians believe that their ancestors wore two hundred years ago riding in coaches such as their ancestors used, or houses with snow on their roofs. And the Niatirbians are unwilling to say what these pictures have to do with the festival, guarding (as I suppose) some sacred mystery. And because all men must send these cards the market-place is filled with the crowd of those buying them, so that there is great labour and weariness.
But having bought as many as they suppose to be sufficient, they return to their houses and find there the like cards which others have sent to them. And when they find cards from any to whom they also have sent cards, they throw them away and give thanks to the gods that this labour at least is over for another year. But when they find cards from any to whom they have not sent, then they beat their breasts and wail and utter curses against the sender; and, having sufficiently lamented their misfortune, they put on their boots again and go out into the fog and rain and buy a card for him also. And let this account suffice about Exmas-cards.
They also send gifts to one another, suffering the same things about the gifts as about the cards, or even worse. For every citizen has to guess the value of the gift which every friend will send to him so that he may send one of equal value, whether he can afford it or not. And they buy as gifts for one another such things as no man ever bought for himself. For the sellers, understanding the custom, put forth all kinds of trumpery, and whatever, being useless and ridiculous, sell as an Exmas gift. And though the Niatirbians profess themselves to lack sufficient necessary things, such as metal, leather, wood and paper, yet an incredible quantity of these things is wasted every year, being made into the gifts.
But during these fifty days the oldest, poorest and the most miserable of citizens put on false beards and red robes and walk in the market-place; being disguised (in my opinion) as Cronos. And the sellers of gifts no less than the purchasers become pale and weary, because of the crowds and the fog, so that any man who came into a Niatirbian city at this season would think that some great calamity had fallen on Niatirb. This fifty days of preparation is called in their barbarian speech the Exmas Rush .
But when the day of the festival comes, then most of the citizens, being exhausted with the Rush , lie in bed till noon. But in the evening they eat five times as much supper as on other days and, crowning themselves with crowns of paper, they become intoxicated. And on the day after Exmas they are very grave, being internally disordered by the supper and the drinking and reckoning how much they have spent on gifts and on the wine. For wine is so dear among the Niatirbians that a man must swallow the worth of a talent before he is well intoxicated.
Such, then, are their customs about the Exmas. But the few among the Niatirbians have also a festival, separate and to themselves, called Crissmas , which is on the same day as Exmas. And those who keep Crissmas, doing the opposite to the majority of the Niatirbians, rise early on that day with shining faces and go before sunrise to certain temples where they partake of a sacred feast. And in most of the temples they set out images of a fair woman with a new-born Child on her knees and certain animals and shepherds adoring the Child. (The reason of these images is given in a certain sacred story which I know but do not repeat.)
But I myself conversed with a priest in one of these temples and asked him why they kept Crissmas on the same day as Exmas; for it appeared to me inconvenient. But the priest replied, “It is not lawful, O Stranger, for us to change the date of Crissmas, but would that Zeus would put it into the minds of the Niatirbians to keep Exmas at some other time or not to keep it at all. For Exmas and the Rush distract the minds even of the few from sacred things. And we indeed are glad that men should make merry at Crissmas; but in Exmas there is no merriment left.”
And when I asked him why they endured the Rush, he replied, “It is, O Stranger, a racket, using (as I suppose) the words of some oracle and speaking unintelligibly to me (for a racket is an instrument which the barbarians use in a game called tennis ).
But what Hecataeus says, that Exmas and Crissmas are the same, is not credible. For the first, the pictures which are stamped on the Exmas-cards have nothing to do with the sacred story which the priests tell about Crissmas. And secondly, the most part of the Niatirbians, not believing the religion of the few, nevertheless send the gifts and cards and participate in the Rush and drink, wearing paper caps. But it is not likely that men, even being barbarians, should suffer so many and great things in honour of a god they do not believe in. And now, enough about Niatirb.
C.S. Lewis, God in the Dock,
"Xmas and Christmas: A Lost Chapter from Herodotus"
(1st published in Time and Tide, 1954)
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Who Am I?
Do you know yourself? Do you know what things truly bring you joy in life and what things really push your buttons? Do you know when and how to be kind to yourself because you know that you’re not feeling well? On the flipside, do you know when it’s appropriate to be a little bit hard on yourself – to push yourself – in order to achieve a goal?
I have been struggling a lot lately with how I feel. I often feel like my head is in a very dense fog and I can’t concentrate on anything. About a week ago I was able to find some time when my head was somewhat clear and I was trying to sort out what was going on. It just didn’t seem normal and at times was quite frightening. Most frightening was the fact that these feelings just come out of nowhere, without warning, and hit me like a ton of bricks.
While trying to sort out where some of this was coming from I realized that I honestly have no idea who I am – what makes me, me. What do I truly enjoy? What do I truly dislike? Are those things okay? What are my skills/talents/abilities? Am I using those things as God would have me to bring glory to Him? I couldn’t answer a single one of those questions and I realized that I may be standing in the way of God working in me and through me because I am not actively participating in my own life. I have just been along for the ride, thinking that I had some semblance of control over my life while really just being a pinball (love the game - don't care for it so much as a lifestyle).
So, I’m on a mission: To determine my God definition. God speaks to me in all kinds of ways in many places every day. Sometimes I see it and sometimes I don’t. Only when I am truly in tune with who God has made me to be will I be able to allow His love to fill me and then to flow through me to the world around me. I don’t deny that there are wounds from my past that will need more time to heal. That is one thing in which I am actively participating! I love the story of the clay in the potter’s hands in Jeremiah 18: “So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.” Just because I am wounded or scarred does not mean that God is not still working on me, does not love me, and is not going to make me into something usable. As long as I remain in the Potter’s hands then He will continue to work on me – either refining the wounds and scars or incorporating them into what makes me, me – a unique, usable vessel created that way on purpose, for a purpose.
There is a line from the book The Shack, by William Young, that goes along with this. I don’t remember exactly how it goes but the gist of it is this: God does not orchestrate tragedies in our lives but that does not mean that He won’t use those tragedies for our own good and His glory.
I have been struggling a lot lately with how I feel. I often feel like my head is in a very dense fog and I can’t concentrate on anything. About a week ago I was able to find some time when my head was somewhat clear and I was trying to sort out what was going on. It just didn’t seem normal and at times was quite frightening. Most frightening was the fact that these feelings just come out of nowhere, without warning, and hit me like a ton of bricks.
While trying to sort out where some of this was coming from I realized that I honestly have no idea who I am – what makes me, me. What do I truly enjoy? What do I truly dislike? Are those things okay? What are my skills/talents/abilities? Am I using those things as God would have me to bring glory to Him? I couldn’t answer a single one of those questions and I realized that I may be standing in the way of God working in me and through me because I am not actively participating in my own life. I have just been along for the ride, thinking that I had some semblance of control over my life while really just being a pinball (love the game - don't care for it so much as a lifestyle).
So, I’m on a mission: To determine my God definition. God speaks to me in all kinds of ways in many places every day. Sometimes I see it and sometimes I don’t. Only when I am truly in tune with who God has made me to be will I be able to allow His love to fill me and then to flow through me to the world around me. I don’t deny that there are wounds from my past that will need more time to heal. That is one thing in which I am actively participating! I love the story of the clay in the potter’s hands in Jeremiah 18: “So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.” Just because I am wounded or scarred does not mean that God is not still working on me, does not love me, and is not going to make me into something usable. As long as I remain in the Potter’s hands then He will continue to work on me – either refining the wounds and scars or incorporating them into what makes me, me – a unique, usable vessel created that way on purpose, for a purpose.
There is a line from the book The Shack, by William Young, that goes along with this. I don’t remember exactly how it goes but the gist of it is this: God does not orchestrate tragedies in our lives but that does not mean that He won’t use those tragedies for our own good and His glory.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
24 hours
From about 3pm yesterday, until about that same time today I was stuck in a cyclone of fear and doubt and worry and anxiety. Let me tell you something - that is not a fun place to be! I don't know how people who live without any peace in their lives are able to function from day to day. I get this way sometimes - I think we probably all do - but as I'm still working on actually trusting God with my life (versus saying that I trust Him and having no idea what that really means or looks like) I am very susceptible to these emotions. It affects every part of my being - both sleeping and awake. I wonder if some of it doesn't rub off on Starr because she has been abnormally obnoxious the last few days as well. Or maybe, she rubbed off on me!
Anyway, Jackie gave me an idea for how to help calm my mind so that I can get some sleep and settle some of the panic and worries. She said to pick a "sacred word" like "peace or love" and repeat it, gently, over and over to myself to empty all other thoughts out of my head and whenever other things start to race around my mind to stop and redirect my thoughts back to my sacred word.
So, I tried it. I picked the word "peace" because that sounds like a lovely thing to have in my life right now! Of course, my brain is still going in warp-speed-overdrive so when I think of the word peace all kinds of things come into my head: peaceful scenery (like that Grand Canyon that I'm going to visit next week), and the song "It Is Well With My Soul" because it says "When peace like a river attendeth my way..." Have you ever seen those silly commercials on TV for bing.com? One person says something and the other person in a very robotic manner lists off the top 10 internet searches for that word. That's kind of what my brain does - it's like an internet search engine - it's disturbing, really, one person's brain shouldn't do all of that - at least not all at once!
I got off on a tangent - I do that sometimes. So I finally got to sleep but I still woke up in the night a couple of times. I was able to think about my sacred word and go back to sleep - until Starr started barking at 10 minutes til 5 this morning. :( Starting the day crying and screaming (yes, literally screaming) before sun-up is never a good thing. I cried most of the morning - letting my negative thoughts run wild. All kinds of fears and worries and anger kept popping into my head all day and I'd start crying again. I wasn't even able to express to myself what I was feeling - except to say that I knew it was fear - that's pretty bad! Late this afternoon I was reading an email and this thought came to me - or rather was sent by God - "God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
That was God getting a hold of me and reminding me that I do not have to be afraid - of anything. He absolutely does not want that for me - or anyone. In fact, He goes so far as to give us the tools to overcome that fear - power, love, and a sound mind. These times when I'm feeling overcome with my emotions - I feel like I'm not in control of my own mind - God doesn't want that for me. He wants me to be of sound mind - He wants me to have power over these fears, doubts, and worries.
I remember a great song from the "good ol' days" by Mac Lynch. You can listen to it here. The words are below.
May the Lord Find Us Faithful
God has not given us the spirit of fear,
But has given us the strength to obey
With power and sound mind,
With love, the unfailing kind,
O be not ashamed of His way.
Chorus:
May the Lord find us faithful.
May His Word be our banner held high.
May the Lord find us faithful.
Ev'ry day, though we live, though we die.
No man that seeketh after things of this life
Is a soldier who passes the test.
Be faithful, be working, be running, be serving,
Be searching His Word for His best.
Chorus
Living or dying, may honor be Thine,
From this wretched life, You loved and forgave.
A life that is on fire,
Be only our heart's desire.
Be faithful from now to the grave.
Chorus
Anyway, Jackie gave me an idea for how to help calm my mind so that I can get some sleep and settle some of the panic and worries. She said to pick a "sacred word" like "peace or love" and repeat it, gently, over and over to myself to empty all other thoughts out of my head and whenever other things start to race around my mind to stop and redirect my thoughts back to my sacred word.
So, I tried it. I picked the word "peace" because that sounds like a lovely thing to have in my life right now! Of course, my brain is still going in warp-speed-overdrive so when I think of the word peace all kinds of things come into my head: peaceful scenery (like that Grand Canyon that I'm going to visit next week), and the song "It Is Well With My Soul" because it says "When peace like a river attendeth my way..." Have you ever seen those silly commercials on TV for bing.com? One person says something and the other person in a very robotic manner lists off the top 10 internet searches for that word. That's kind of what my brain does - it's like an internet search engine - it's disturbing, really, one person's brain shouldn't do all of that - at least not all at once!
I got off on a tangent - I do that sometimes. So I finally got to sleep but I still woke up in the night a couple of times. I was able to think about my sacred word and go back to sleep - until Starr started barking at 10 minutes til 5 this morning. :( Starting the day crying and screaming (yes, literally screaming) before sun-up is never a good thing. I cried most of the morning - letting my negative thoughts run wild. All kinds of fears and worries and anger kept popping into my head all day and I'd start crying again. I wasn't even able to express to myself what I was feeling - except to say that I knew it was fear - that's pretty bad! Late this afternoon I was reading an email and this thought came to me - or rather was sent by God - "God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
That was God getting a hold of me and reminding me that I do not have to be afraid - of anything. He absolutely does not want that for me - or anyone. In fact, He goes so far as to give us the tools to overcome that fear - power, love, and a sound mind. These times when I'm feeling overcome with my emotions - I feel like I'm not in control of my own mind - God doesn't want that for me. He wants me to be of sound mind - He wants me to have power over these fears, doubts, and worries.
I remember a great song from the "good ol' days" by Mac Lynch. You can listen to it here. The words are below.
May the Lord Find Us Faithful
God has not given us the spirit of fear,
But has given us the strength to obey
With power and sound mind,
With love, the unfailing kind,
O be not ashamed of His way.
Chorus:
May the Lord find us faithful.
May His Word be our banner held high.
May the Lord find us faithful.
Ev'ry day, though we live, though we die.
No man that seeketh after things of this life
Is a soldier who passes the test.
Be faithful, be working, be running, be serving,
Be searching His Word for His best.
Chorus
Living or dying, may honor be Thine,
From this wretched life, You loved and forgave.
A life that is on fire,
Be only our heart's desire.
Be faithful from now to the grave.
Chorus
Monday, October 12, 2009
Man-forsaken, but never God-forsaken
Psalm 27:10
“When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.”
This Psalm is labeled as a Psalm of David – penned by King David, one of the most well-known, and probably well-loved, kings of Old Testament Israel. This Psalm has been of great comfort to me in recent weeks. Many times when I have felt overwhelmed and discouraged and sad I have come back to this Psalm and offered it back to God as a prayer. (Thanks Pastor Felber, for having us memorize this one, as a church, so many years ago!)
I find it very intriguing that this verse is even in the Bible. Often times I don’t think about the possibility that people in Old Testament days could have forsaken their children. I usually think of the mighty men and women of the Old Testament as having been pillars of faith and love and they “just didn’t do stuff like that.” Alas, they were human, too. And they probably did embarrass and upset their children just like parents do today. “No, you can’t go scoop the loop in the good chariot.” “No, you can’t go worship Baal with the Hezekiah kids, we’re going to see great-great-great-great-great grandpa Methuselah.” (Not shooting for Biblical accuracy here – just making a point.)
The definition of the word “forsake” (because, really, how often do you use the word “forsake” in every day conversation?) is: To quit or leave entirely; abandon; desert. To give up or renounce. Can you imagine what it would be like for your parents to leave, abandon, or desert you? To give you up or renounce you? That would have to be one of the most painful things for a child to endure – no matter what age the child is! I can’t imagine, not in the literal sense of this definition anyway.
I grew up having both of my parents around – and a multitude of other family members also. I lived with Mom and my brother and we got to see Dad most any time that we wanted. In that sense, my parents never deserted me. However, if you look beyond the literal definition – in the physical sense – of this word and think about the emotional and spiritual aspect of our lives; there is a whole other realm of possibilities for abandonment and desertion. I am here to tell you that this can, and does, happen. I am living proof of it! But God is good and His word promises that when this happens – when our family – our own flesh and blood – turns its back on us then He will be there to comfort us. He will lift us up on eagle’s wings (Isaiah 40:31) and give us the strength and support that our earthly family has failed to provide.
The whole point of all of this was not only to point out what the Bible says but to remind myself what it does not say. The Bible does not say: “When my father and mother forsake me then the Lord will let me pick new ones.” It does not say: “When my father and mother forsake me then the Lord will let me continue behaving as a child because no one wanted to teach me how to grow up.” I confess that this is difficult for me to accept. I have lived for a long time trying to move other people into the position of “parent” in my life instead of trusting in the Lord for my strength and growth. But that is not Biblical and it needs to stop. Part of my God-definition needs to be that I claim Him as my Father and stop trying to give that credit (and responsibility!) to anyone else. My growth comes from Him – not from mankind. He may choose to use people to communicate these truths to me but the message is ultimately from Him.
Heavenly Father, I bring your word back to you once again tonight: The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell. Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident. One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple. For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock. And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord. Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me. When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek. Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation. When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up. Teach me thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies. Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty. I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.
“When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.”
This Psalm is labeled as a Psalm of David – penned by King David, one of the most well-known, and probably well-loved, kings of Old Testament Israel. This Psalm has been of great comfort to me in recent weeks. Many times when I have felt overwhelmed and discouraged and sad I have come back to this Psalm and offered it back to God as a prayer. (Thanks Pastor Felber, for having us memorize this one, as a church, so many years ago!)
I find it very intriguing that this verse is even in the Bible. Often times I don’t think about the possibility that people in Old Testament days could have forsaken their children. I usually think of the mighty men and women of the Old Testament as having been pillars of faith and love and they “just didn’t do stuff like that.” Alas, they were human, too. And they probably did embarrass and upset their children just like parents do today. “No, you can’t go scoop the loop in the good chariot.” “No, you can’t go worship Baal with the Hezekiah kids, we’re going to see great-great-great-great-great grandpa Methuselah.” (Not shooting for Biblical accuracy here – just making a point.)
The definition of the word “forsake” (because, really, how often do you use the word “forsake” in every day conversation?) is: To quit or leave entirely; abandon; desert. To give up or renounce. Can you imagine what it would be like for your parents to leave, abandon, or desert you? To give you up or renounce you? That would have to be one of the most painful things for a child to endure – no matter what age the child is! I can’t imagine, not in the literal sense of this definition anyway.
I grew up having both of my parents around – and a multitude of other family members also. I lived with Mom and my brother and we got to see Dad most any time that we wanted. In that sense, my parents never deserted me. However, if you look beyond the literal definition – in the physical sense – of this word and think about the emotional and spiritual aspect of our lives; there is a whole other realm of possibilities for abandonment and desertion. I am here to tell you that this can, and does, happen. I am living proof of it! But God is good and His word promises that when this happens – when our family – our own flesh and blood – turns its back on us then He will be there to comfort us. He will lift us up on eagle’s wings (Isaiah 40:31) and give us the strength and support that our earthly family has failed to provide.
The whole point of all of this was not only to point out what the Bible says but to remind myself what it does not say. The Bible does not say: “When my father and mother forsake me then the Lord will let me pick new ones.” It does not say: “When my father and mother forsake me then the Lord will let me continue behaving as a child because no one wanted to teach me how to grow up.” I confess that this is difficult for me to accept. I have lived for a long time trying to move other people into the position of “parent” in my life instead of trusting in the Lord for my strength and growth. But that is not Biblical and it needs to stop. Part of my God-definition needs to be that I claim Him as my Father and stop trying to give that credit (and responsibility!) to anyone else. My growth comes from Him – not from mankind. He may choose to use people to communicate these truths to me but the message is ultimately from Him.
Heavenly Father, I bring your word back to you once again tonight: The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell. Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident. One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple. For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock. And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord. Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me. When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek. Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation. When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up. Teach me thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies. Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty. I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Putting Away Childish Things
I Corinthians 13:11
When I was a child I spake as a child; I understood as a child; I thought as a child. But when I became a man I put away childish things.
I haven’t put away my childish things. I’m not sure that I can even identify most of them. Something being a natural response is sometimes going to be a childish thing because children are untrained humans. As we get older we are supposed to learn to harness and hone those natural responses into healthy grown-up ones.
Romans 12:1-2
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
I am learning new things about myself all the time. Along with the strengths which I am discovering I have found that I haven’t grown up as well as I would have liked. I’m not interested in playing the blame game or going through the rest of my life saying “oh woe is me” and being a victim – destined to live my life as an uncontrollable roller coaster ride. Jackie always says, “What happens to me may change me but only God defines me” (maybe slightly paraphrased). That is the journey that I am on now. To learn my “God-definition” and allow Him to help me grow up and “put away childish things” “by the renewing of [my] mind.”
Heavenly Father, please forgive me for my childish thoughts and behaviors. Please forgive me for not taking responsibility for my actions and staying in my child-like mentality for so many years. I understand now that these behaviors are not becoming of a daughter of yours. I recognize this now and repent of these things. I ask for your strength in my life to make the necessary changes in order to become a safe person and to be obedient to Your will.
When I was a child I spake as a child; I understood as a child; I thought as a child. But when I became a man I put away childish things.
I haven’t put away my childish things. I’m not sure that I can even identify most of them. Something being a natural response is sometimes going to be a childish thing because children are untrained humans. As we get older we are supposed to learn to harness and hone those natural responses into healthy grown-up ones.
Romans 12:1-2
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
I am learning new things about myself all the time. Along with the strengths which I am discovering I have found that I haven’t grown up as well as I would have liked. I’m not interested in playing the blame game or going through the rest of my life saying “oh woe is me” and being a victim – destined to live my life as an uncontrollable roller coaster ride. Jackie always says, “What happens to me may change me but only God defines me” (maybe slightly paraphrased). That is the journey that I am on now. To learn my “God-definition” and allow Him to help me grow up and “put away childish things” “by the renewing of [my] mind.”
Heavenly Father, please forgive me for my childish thoughts and behaviors. Please forgive me for not taking responsibility for my actions and staying in my child-like mentality for so many years. I understand now that these behaviors are not becoming of a daughter of yours. I recognize this now and repent of these things. I ask for your strength in my life to make the necessary changes in order to become a safe person and to be obedient to Your will.
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