Let's Not Forget Christmas!

I came across this story many years ago when I was in college and used it for a reading in one of my speech classes. I fell in love with it and have read it each year since as a reminder to not get caught up in the frivolity of the commercialized season.

... and beyond this there lies in the ocean, turned towards the west and the north, the island of Niatirb which Hecataeus indeed declares to be the same size and shape as Sicily, but it is larger, and though in calling it triangular a man would not miss the mark. It is densely inhabited by men who wear clothes not very different from other barbarians who occupy the north- western parts of Europe though they do not agree with them in language. These islanders, surpassing all the men of whom we know in patience and endurance, use the following customs.

In the middle of winter when fogs and rains most abound they have a great festival which they call Exmas , and for fifty days they prepare for it in the fashion I shall describe. First of all, every citizen is obliged to send to each of his friends and relations a square piece of hard paper stamped with a picture, which in their speech is called an Exmas-card . But the pictures represent birds sitting on branches, or trees with a dark green prickly leaf, or else men in such garments as the Niatirbians believe that their ancestors wore two hundred years ago riding in coaches such as their ancestors used, or houses with snow on their roofs. And the Niatirbians are unwilling to say what these pictures have to do with the festival, guarding (as I suppose) some sacred mystery. And because all men must send these cards the market-place is filled with the crowd of those buying them, so that there is great labour and weariness.

But having bought as many as they suppose to be sufficient, they return to their houses and find there the like cards which others have sent to them. And when they find cards from any to whom they also have sent cards, they throw them away and give thanks to the gods that this labour at least is over for another year. But when they find cards from any to whom they have not sent, then they beat their breasts and wail and utter curses against the sender; and, having sufficiently lamented their misfortune, they put on their boots again and go out into the fog and rain and buy a card for him also. And let this account suffice about Exmas-cards.

They also send gifts to one another, suffering the same things about the gifts as about the cards, or even worse. For every citizen has to guess the value of the gift which every friend will send to him so that he may send one of equal value, whether he can afford it or not. And they buy as gifts for one another such things as no man ever bought for himself. For the sellers, understanding the custom, put forth all kinds of trumpery, and whatever, being useless and ridiculous, sell as an Exmas gift. And though the Niatirbians profess themselves to lack sufficient necessary things, such as metal, leather, wood and paper, yet an incredible quantity of these things is wasted every year, being made into the gifts.

But during these fifty days the oldest, poorest and the most miserable of citizens put on false beards and red robes and walk in the market-place; being disguised (in my opinion) as Cronos. And the sellers of gifts no less than the purchasers become pale and weary, because of the crowds and the fog, so that any man who came into a Niatirbian city at this season would think that some great calamity had fallen on Niatirb. This fifty days of preparation is called in their barbarian speech the Exmas Rush .

But when the day of the festival comes, then most of the citizens, being exhausted with the Rush , lie in bed till noon. But in the evening they eat five times as much supper as on other days and, crowning themselves with crowns of paper, they become intoxicated. And on the day after Exmas they are very grave, being internally disordered by the supper and the drinking and reckoning how much they have spent on gifts and on the wine. For wine is so dear among the Niatirbians that a man must swallow the worth of a talent before he is well intoxicated.

Such, then, are their customs about the Exmas. But the few among the Niatirbians have also a festival, separate and to themselves, called Crissmas , which is on the same day as Exmas. And those who keep Crissmas, doing the opposite to the majority of the Niatirbians, rise early on that day with shining faces and go before sunrise to certain temples where they partake of a sacred feast. And in most of the temples they set out images of a fair woman with a new-born Child on her knees and certain animals and shepherds adoring the Child. (The reason of these images is given in a certain sacred story which I know but do not repeat.)

But I myself conversed with a priest in one of these temples and asked him why they kept Crissmas on the same day as Exmas; for it appeared to me inconvenient. But the priest replied, “It is not lawful, O Stranger, for us to change the date of Crissmas, but would that Zeus would put it into the minds of the Niatirbians to keep Exmas at some other time or not to keep it at all. For Exmas and the Rush distract the minds even of the few from sacred things. And we indeed are glad that men should make merry at Crissmas; but in Exmas there is no merriment left.”
And when I asked him why they endured the Rush, he replied, “It is, O Stranger, a racket, using (as I suppose) the words of some oracle and speaking unintelligibly to me (for a racket is an instrument which the barbarians use in a game called tennis ).

But what Hecataeus says, that Exmas and Crissmas are the same, is not credible. For the first, the pictures which are stamped on the Exmas-cards have nothing to do with the sacred story which the priests tell about Crissmas. And secondly, the most part of the Niatirbians, not believing the religion of the few, nevertheless send the gifts and cards and participate in the Rush and drink, wearing paper caps. But it is not likely that men, even being barbarians, should suffer so many and great things in honour of a god they do not believe in. And now, enough about Niatirb.

C.S. Lewis, God in the Dock,
"Xmas and Christmas: A Lost Chapter from Herodotus"
(1st published in Time and Tide, 1954)

Who Am I?

Do you know yourself? Do you know what things truly bring you joy in life and what things really push your buttons? Do you know when and how to be kind to yourself because you know that you’re not feeling well? On the flipside, do you know when it’s appropriate to be a little bit hard on yourself – to push yourself – in order to achieve a goal?

I have been struggling a lot lately with how I feel. I often feel like my head is in a very dense fog and I can’t concentrate on anything. About a week ago I was able to find some time when my head was somewhat clear and I was trying to sort out what was going on. It just didn’t seem normal and at times was quite frightening. Most frightening was the fact that these feelings just come out of nowhere, without warning, and hit me like a ton of bricks.

While trying to sort out where some of this was coming from I realized that I honestly have no idea who I am – what makes me, me. What do I truly enjoy? What do I truly dislike? Are those things okay? What are my skills/talents/abilities? Am I using those things as God would have me to bring glory to Him? I couldn’t answer a single one of those questions and I realized that I may be standing in the way of God working in me and through me because I am not actively participating in my own life. I have just been along for the ride, thinking that I had some semblance of control over my life while really just being a pinball (love the game - don't care for it so much as a lifestyle).

So, I’m on a mission: To determine my God definition. God speaks to me in all kinds of ways in many places every day. Sometimes I see it and sometimes I don’t. Only when I am truly in tune with who God has made me to be will I be able to allow His love to fill me and then to flow through me to the world around me. I don’t deny that there are wounds from my past that will need more time to heal. That is one thing in which I am actively participating! I love the story of the clay in the potter’s hands in Jeremiah 18: “So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.” Just because I am wounded or scarred does not mean that God is not still working on me, does not love me, and is not going to make me into something usable. As long as I remain in the Potter’s hands then He will continue to work on me – either refining the wounds and scars or incorporating them into what makes me, me – a unique, usable vessel created that way on purpose, for a purpose.

There is a line from the book The Shack, by William Young, that goes along with this. I don’t remember exactly how it goes but the gist of it is this: God does not orchestrate tragedies in our lives but that does not mean that He won’t use those tragedies for our own good and His glory.

24 hours

From about 3pm yesterday, until about that same time today I was stuck in a cyclone of fear and doubt and worry and anxiety. Let me tell you something - that is not a fun place to be! I don't know how people who live without any peace in their lives are able to function from day to day. I get this way sometimes - I think we probably all do - but as I'm still working on actually trusting God with my life (versus saying that I trust Him and having no idea what that really means or looks like) I am very susceptible to these emotions. It affects every part of my being - both sleeping and awake. I wonder if some of it doesn't rub off on Starr because she has been abnormally obnoxious the last few days as well. Or maybe, she rubbed off on me!

Anyway, Jackie gave me an idea for how to help calm my mind so that I can get some sleep and settle some of the panic and worries. She said to pick a "sacred word" like "peace or love" and repeat it, gently, over and over to myself to empty all other thoughts out of my head and whenever other things start to race around my mind to stop and redirect my thoughts back to my sacred word.

So, I tried it. I picked the word "peace" because that sounds like a lovely thing to have in my life right now! Of course, my brain is still going in warp-speed-overdrive so when I think of the word peace all kinds of things come into my head: peaceful scenery (like that Grand Canyon that I'm going to visit next week), and the song "It Is Well With My Soul" because it says "When peace like a river attendeth my way..." Have you ever seen those silly commercials on TV for bing.com? One person says something and the other person in a very robotic manner lists off the top 10 internet searches for that word. That's kind of what my brain does - it's like an internet search engine - it's disturbing, really, one person's brain shouldn't do all of that - at least not all at once!

I got off on a tangent - I do that sometimes. So I finally got to sleep but I still woke up in the night a couple of times. I was able to think about my sacred word and go back to sleep - until Starr started barking at 10 minutes til 5 this morning. :( Starting the day crying and screaming (yes, literally screaming) before sun-up is never a good thing. I cried most of the morning - letting my negative thoughts run wild. All kinds of fears and worries and anger kept popping into my head all day and I'd start crying again. I wasn't even able to express to myself what I was feeling - except to say that I knew it was fear - that's pretty bad! Late this afternoon I was reading an email and this thought came to me - or rather was sent by God - "God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

That was God getting a hold of me and reminding me that I do not have to be afraid - of anything. He absolutely does not want that for me - or anyone. In fact, He goes so far as to give us the tools to overcome that fear - power, love, and a sound mind. These times when I'm feeling overcome with my emotions - I feel like I'm not in control of my own mind - God doesn't want that for me. He wants me to be of sound mind - He wants me to have power over these fears, doubts, and worries.

I remember a great song from the "good ol' days" by Mac Lynch. You can listen to it here. The words are below.

May the Lord Find Us Faithful
God has not given us the spirit of fear,
But has given us the strength to obey
With power and sound mind,
With love, the unfailing kind,
O be not ashamed of His way.

Chorus:
May the Lord find us faithful.
May His Word be our banner held high.
May the Lord find us faithful.
Ev'ry day, though we live, though we die.

No man that seeketh after things of this life
Is a soldier who passes the test.
Be faithful, be working, be running, be serving,
Be searching His Word for His best.

Chorus

Living or dying, may honor be Thine,
From this wretched life, You loved and forgave.
A life that is on fire,
Be only our heart's desire.
Be faithful from now to the grave.

Chorus

Man-forsaken, but never God-forsaken

Psalm 27:10
“When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.”

This Psalm is labeled as a Psalm of David – penned by King David, one of the most well-known, and probably well-loved, kings of Old Testament Israel. This Psalm has been of great comfort to me in recent weeks. Many times when I have felt overwhelmed and discouraged and sad I have come back to this Psalm and offered it back to God as a prayer. (Thanks Pastor Felber, for having us memorize this one, as a church, so many years ago!)

I find it very intriguing that this verse is even in the Bible. Often times I don’t think about the possibility that people in Old Testament days could have forsaken their children. I usually think of the mighty men and women of the Old Testament as having been pillars of faith and love and they “just didn’t do stuff like that.” Alas, they were human, too. And they probably did embarrass and upset their children just like parents do today. “No, you can’t go scoop the loop in the good chariot.” “No, you can’t go worship Baal with the Hezekiah kids, we’re going to see great-great-great-great-great grandpa Methuselah.” (Not shooting for Biblical accuracy here – just making a point.)

The definition of the word “forsake” (because, really, how often do you use the word “forsake” in every day conversation?) is: To quit or leave entirely; abandon; desert. To give up or renounce. Can you imagine what it would be like for your parents to leave, abandon, or desert you? To give you up or renounce you? That would have to be one of the most painful things for a child to endure – no matter what age the child is! I can’t imagine, not in the literal sense of this definition anyway.

I grew up having both of my parents around – and a multitude of other family members also. I lived with Mom and my brother and we got to see Dad most any time that we wanted. In that sense, my parents never deserted me. However, if you look beyond the literal definition – in the physical sense – of this word and think about the emotional and spiritual aspect of our lives; there is a whole other realm of possibilities for abandonment and desertion. I am here to tell you that this can, and does, happen. I am living proof of it! But God is good and His word promises that when this happens – when our family – our own flesh and blood – turns its back on us then He will be there to comfort us. He will lift us up on eagle’s wings (Isaiah 40:31) and give us the strength and support that our earthly family has failed to provide.

The whole point of all of this was not only to point out what the Bible says but to remind myself what it does not say. The Bible does not say: “When my father and mother forsake me then the Lord will let me pick new ones.” It does not say: “When my father and mother forsake me then the Lord will let me continue behaving as a child because no one wanted to teach me how to grow up.” I confess that this is difficult for me to accept. I have lived for a long time trying to move other people into the position of “parent” in my life instead of trusting in the Lord for my strength and growth. But that is not Biblical and it needs to stop. Part of my God-definition needs to be that I claim Him as my Father and stop trying to give that credit (and responsibility!) to anyone else. My growth comes from Him – not from mankind. He may choose to use people to communicate these truths to me but the message is ultimately from Him.

Heavenly Father, I bring your word back to you once again tonight: The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell. Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident. One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple. For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock. And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord. Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me. When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek. Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation. When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up. Teach me thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies. Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty. I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

Putting Away Childish Things

I Corinthians 13:11
When I was a child I spake as a child; I understood as a child; I thought as a child. But when I became a man I put away childish things.

I haven’t put away my childish things. I’m not sure that I can even identify most of them. Something being a natural response is sometimes going to be a childish thing because children are untrained humans. As we get older we are supposed to learn to harness and hone those natural responses into healthy grown-up ones.

Romans 12:1-2
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

I am learning new things about myself all the time. Along with the strengths which I am discovering I have found that I haven’t grown up as well as I would have liked. I’m not interested in playing the blame game or going through the rest of my life saying “oh woe is me” and being a victim – destined to live my life as an uncontrollable roller coaster ride. Jackie always says, “What happens to me may change me but only God defines me” (maybe slightly paraphrased). That is the journey that I am on now. To learn my “God-definition” and allow Him to help me grow up and “put away childish things” “by the renewing of [my] mind.”

Heavenly Father, please forgive me for my childish thoughts and behaviors. Please forgive me for not taking responsibility for my actions and staying in my child-like mentality for so many years. I understand now that these behaviors are not becoming of a daughter of yours. I recognize this now and repent of these things. I ask for your strength in my life to make the necessary changes in order to become a safe person and to be obedient to Your will.

Refocusing

Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth


Lord, I can't pull myself up by my bootstraps this time. I've tried and I am sinking farther into this pit of muck and mire - called my own mind. So, I'm lifting my eyes to the hills from where my help will come. Please forgive me for my selfishness and stubborn independence and fill my heart with Your love tonight. I love you, Lord and praise you for your love for me and your everlasting goodness. Every good thing is from You and the stuff in my head is not good so please replace these lies with your truth.

My Life and My Story...

Does Anybody Hear Her? - Casting Crowns

She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind

Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?

She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away

Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me

Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we've never even met her
If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we've never even met her

If Judgement looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we've never even met her
Never even met her(Never Even Met her)(OHHHHH)

Does anybody hear her?
Does anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? (Does anybody hear her?)
Does anybody see? (Does anybody See?)
Does anybody even know she's going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple (shadow of her steeple)
With all the lost and lonely people (Lost and Lonely people)
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her?
Does anybody see?
He is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction


Dear Heavenly Father - I praise you for your love for me and for bringing someone into my life who heard me and saw me and showed your love to me again!

Today's Lesson from God to Tessa

Over the last several weeks I have been learning multiple new things every day. New things about me and new things about God and His love and His character. This is a very exciting adventure for me! There was a time in my life when God was a very foreign concept to me. I knew I was saved and I knew a lot of "facts" about God. I could quote to you any number of passages of Scripture - just because I could. While I knew all of these "things" about God I never really "knew" God. I didn't know that my life was about my relationship with Him and what He wants to do through me while He allows me to tarry on this Earth. This is what I have been learning lately.

I've had the opportunity to go back through a lot of old ideas about God and habits toward God and re-evaluate those things in light of Scripture and how He is revealing Himself to me. I recently did a word study through the Bible on the word "worship" and I looked for all kinds of things about worship in the Bible. How was it done? Who did it? Where did they do it? Why did they do it? When did they do it? I learned so much just from looking at the verses that use that one word and from reviewing the common-day dictionary definition of the word. Mostly, though, I learned what worship is NOT!

• Worship is not a Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night event
• Worship is not just the songs that we sing or the music that we play
• Worship is not just getting up early in the morning and reading my Bible and praying
• Worship is not the length of my skirt or the finger-width between my collarbone and shirt collar
• Worship is not a list of "thou shalts" and "thou shalt nots"

Worship IS an attitude. Worship IS a mind-set. Worship IS a constant awareness of God. Worship IS doing whatever we do as though we are doing it for Christ Himself.

This was an incredibly humbling, if not humiliating, revelation to me. One of the things that I struggle with most is my job. It is not an uncommon occurrance for me to be yelled at several times a day at work and a few times a week I even get cussed at. Now, I know, somewhere in my brain, that these people are not really angry with ME; they are angry with the system which I will readily agree is broken and in need of a serious time out for re-evaluation and/or overhaul. BUT, I am a sensitive person and it is so easy for me to take personally the things that these people say to me - as if it's my fault and there is something that I need to be doing about it. When this happens my defenses go up and unkind things start to fill my mind (and sometimes flow right on out my mouth). At that moment I am no longer doing what I do for Christ - I'm doing it for myself - to protect myself and it ends up that instead of worshiping and bringing glory to God by my response I do just the opposite.

I have printed out I Corinthians 13 on a piece of paper and it lays on my desk in front of me at work. Christ summarized our lives on Earth into two commandments: 1) Love God with all that you are; and 2) Love your neighbor as yourself. I Corinthians 13, the "Love Chapter" is the absolute best working definition of love that you can find.

• Love is patient
• Love is kind
• Love is not jealous
• Love is not boastful
• Love is not proud
• Love is not rude
• Love does not demand it's own way
• Love is not irritable
• Love does not keep record of being wronged
• Love does not rejoice about injustice
• Love rejoices whenever the truth wins out
• Love never gives up
• Love never loses faith
• Love is always hopeful
• Love endures through every circumstance
• And most importantly - no matter what you do or what you have in this lifetime if you don't have love in your life for God and other people then everything is in vain - is useless.

It is a daily and sometimes minute by minute prayer for God's love to fill me and for Him to show His love for others through me.

Not Condemnation, But Mercy

In the Gospel of John, chapter 8, the religious leaders of the day brought a woman to Jesus. This woman was caught in the very act of adultery and the law, as given to Moses in the Old Testament, said that this woman was to be stoned. the Pharisee's, hoping to have something on which to call Jesus out, asked him what he thought should be done with her. At first Jesus ignored them. I will be very intrigued to find out in Heaven some day what exactly Jesus was writing in the dirt that day! When he didn't answer them, the Pharisee's asked him a second time what he thought should be done with this woman. To which Jesus responded: "Whichever one of you has not sinned go ahead and throw stones at her" and then he went back to writing in the dirt. One by one the Pharisee's all left and soon it was just Jesus and the woman standing there. Jesus asked her where everybody went and she told him that they all left. At this point Jesus told her to go and don't commit adultery again - he was not going to punish her.

This is such a great story! It gives me great insight into the character of Jesus - a character which I strive to emulate every day, but confess that I do not do well in this area of compassion. Jesus knew that technically the woman should have been put to death - under the law. I believe something about this passage. Jesus knew the great amount of heartache that this woman was already feeling just from having done what she did.

I have been reading a book called Sex and the Soul of a Woman, by Paula Rinehart. This book talks about the bonds which are forged when two people have a sexual encounter. There are all kinds of things going on in the human brain when hormones are stirred up by sex. (I am by no means an expert on this subject, so please, take a look at Jackie Joens' blog for more information. She has done more research and has more experience with this topic than I do.) God wired us to make these bonds on all different levels - that's why we women are the mothers and the wives and are the ones most often looked to for comfort. Because every woman is wired to make these bonds every woman also suffers when those bonds are injured. This woman was already suffering the natural consequence of shame for what she had done.

Much like the pain that this woman was feeling I have experienced these relationship hurts compounded into self-hatred and doubt of my own worth to God. But also like this woman I have received, not condemnation at the feet of Jesus, but mercy instead. We all make mistakes. We all learn at different speeds and by different means. Some of us have the wisdom to learn from other people's mistakes and some of us get to take those tests for ourselves.

I am not a person that gets all fired up about every injustice; nor do I jump on every bandwagon that rolls through town fighting for this cause or that one. Please understand, it's absolutely not that I don't believe those things are important because I certainly do. I just choose to save my "soap boxes" for those things about which I am truly passionate. Sexual purity is one of those things.

I was very privileged to grow up in a conservative and fundamental church and it was always drilled into us that sex outside of marriage was bad and that we shouldn't do it. I absolutely believe this and support it with every fiber of my being. However, I also acknowledge that there is more to it than that. It's not enough to just scare the truth into our youth. In a society where children are having sex at younger and younger ages despite our "sex ed" and "drilling" and threats of STD's and pregnancies and God's wrath we need to really talk to our kids! In order to do that we have to crawl out of our shells and past the realm of the abstract and taboo. I'm not saying to sit your kindergartener down and explain the gory details of sex to him. However, waiting until your child reaches puberty may be too late, too! Always have an open door policy with your kids. They are going to get this information one way or another - who do you want it to come from?!

Those of you who know me know that I'm not a parent. While my comments here are primarily directed to parents because it is primarily your job to teach your children; I want to admonish those of you who do not have children of your own also to be watchful of the children around you. Are you seeing patterns or behaviors that you think could be leading down a path lined with heartache? Find the child's parents or some other authority figure for the child and relay your concerns. Remember the old saying: "It takes a village to raise a child." Children and teens will often seek out someone who isn't a parent to ask those questions which are too awkward to ask of their parents. Be open to this! If you are not comfortable answering the questions then offer to go with the child/teen to his/her parents to help the conversation along. Be creative without crossing a line that could cause more harm than good.

I've been down a lot of very hurtful roads and you have no idea how much I wish that someone had sat me down and really explained life, and especially sex, to me! In a way that I could understand some of the natural consequences that I would encounter when I chose to go down those ill-advised paths.

What This World Needs

I love music!!! I love to play it, I love to sing it, I love to listen to it, I love to hum it, I love to just think about it! Because I am not a poet, and yes, I know it, I will sometimes post the lyrics to a song that has touched my heart in a special way. The music itself is powerful but the lyrics are even moreso because they convey the true message of the song. The lyrics are what our brain processes and that is what can spur us into action - whether it be the action of praise and worship or the action of making a difference in the world by allowing God's love to pour out through us.

I have been wrestling with God about some things for a couple of days and this morning He brought the words to this song to my mind and suddenly things became clearer. So, I'd like to share these words with you. I especially love the section shown as "Dialogue." If you are not familiar with this song you can listen to it at this website.

What This World Needs - by Casting Crowns

What this world needs
Is not another one hit wonder with an axe to grind
Another two bit politician peddling lies
Another three ring circus society
What this world needs
Is not another sign waving super saint that's better than you
Another ear pleasing candy man afraid of the truth
Another prophet in an Armani suit

CHORUS:
What this world needs is a Savior who will rescue
A Spirit who will lead
A Father who will love them in their time of need
A Savior who will rescue
A Spirit who will lead
A Father who will love
That's what this world needs

What this world needs
Is for us to care more about the inside than the outside
Have we become so blind that we can't see
God's gotta change her heart before He changes her shirt
What this world needs
Is for us to stop hiding behind our relevance
Blending in so well that people can't see the difference
And it's the difference that sets the world free

CHORUS:
What this world needs is a Savior who will rescue
A Spirit who will lead
A Father who will love them in their time of need
A Savior who will rescue
A Spirit who will lead
A Father who will love
That's what this world needs

DIALOGUE:
People aren’t confused by the gospel
They’re confused by us
Jesus is the only way to God
But we are not the only way to Jesus
This world doesn’t need my tie, my hoodie, my denomination or my translation of the Bible
They just need Jesus
We can be passionate about what we believe
But we can’t strap ourselves to the gospel
Because we’re slowing it down
Jesus is going to save the world
But maybe the best thing we can do
Is just get out of the way

CHORUS:
What this world needs is a Savior who will rescue
A Spirit who will lead
A Father who will love them in their time of need
A Savior who will rescue
A Spirit who will lead
A Father who will love
That's what this world needs

Jesus is our Savior, that's what this world needs
Father's arms around you, that's what this world needs
That's what this world need

Through the Years

I've been thinking a lot this week about my early years in light of the resurfacing of Jaycee Dugard. She is the same age as me. She has been away from her family for over half of her life. I cannot even imagine what it would be like to have missed the last 18 years of my life as I know it.

• 6th through 12th grade
• driver's permit and driver's ed
• driver's license
• proms
• first kiss
• high school graduation
• college
• first job, second job, third job and all of the others
• first car
• first love
• first apartment
• first house
• the first time I lost someone close to me
• first heartbreak
• first speeding ticket
• first fender-bender - and then some!

I wouldn't know the people that I know. I wouldn't have had any of the same experiences that I have had. Not that every part of my life has been sugar and spice and everything nice. In fact, if things had been different they might have been better - but they could have been a lot worse, too.

There is a wonderful book that I read recently called "The Shack" (if you haven't, I recommend taking the time to read it!) In the book, God, called Papa, is talking to Mack about the terrible things that have happened and said this: "just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean I orchestrate the tragedies. Don't ever assume that my using something means I caused it or that I needed it to accomplish my purposes."

I am so thankful, in retrospect, for the challenges that God has used in my life to bring me to today. All of the bad choices that I made were still used by God for His glory. Through those challenges he has equiped me with a unique history and I am so excited at the prospect of Him using my past to help someone else avoid the same future. Don't misunderstand, I have by no means arrived at some spiritual plateau. Life is a journey, not a destination! I just mean to say that I am thankful that God has gently brought me back to a relationship with Him. It's a daily, hourly, minute-by-minute journey but it is so exhilarating to know that God is right here beside me every step of the way!

Watching God

Sunday night I was laying on the swing in my back yard watching the moon rise and the stars twinkling in the night sky. I enjoy spending that time in the quiet, cool evening talking to God while I watch His handiwork - on display for all mankind.

Since returning to my relationship with God I have been literally hungering for a more intimate knowledge of my Lord and Savior. I know that my life is not about what I want or what I want to do. My life is about what God wants to do through me! Any work or effort that I put in is in vain. Only when my heart is full and over-flowing with the love of God will He be able to use me. Jackie Joens, LMHC, puts it like this: "Think about it…to open our hearts to the reality of God’s love for us, fills us to such a depth that we cannot keep the love inside. God’s love will bubble up in us and through us to others. It pours out of us because it can’t be contained! Can you imagine living your life with such an over flowing heart, filled with so much love that you couldn’t help but spill it out - all over?!"

I have been feeling God's love a lot lately and have really been wanting to share that love with other people. So, Sunday evening while I was praying I asked God if there is a ministry somewhere where He wants to use me that he would show that to me. During my teen years and early 20's I helped a lot at my church with the 2 and 3 year olds in AWANA and Sunday School. I also got to spend some time with the teens and really enjoyed the opportunity of getting to know the young ladies who were growing up just a few years behind me and going through a lot of the same things that I had been experiencing in the recent years.

Monday night when I got home from work I was reading some updates on my Facebook page and came across a post from my church saying that they were still looking for volunteers to work in the PowerLife (junior high) and Ignition (high school) programs for this year. I read the program descriptions and found that they needed helpers on Wednesday evenings from 630 to 830 - which fits perfectly in my schedule. The groups that meet on Wednesday nights are 6th through 8th grade and they separate the boys and girls so I would get to be with a group of no more than 10 girls. We'll get to talk about life and growing up and most importantly how we can strengthen our relationships with God each day.

Can you ask for a clearer sign from God about where He wants to use me?! I don't think so. I absolutely do not believe in coincidences! So, I took the step and contacted the program director and I'm going to be teamed up with another leader for the first year so that I can learn the ropes. I am so excited about this opportunity. I'm going to be working with the 7th grade girls this year. Wednesday the 9th is orientation and our first meeting will be the 16th. If you think of it - pray for me! Pray that I will keep my heart and mind on Christ Jesus so that the love of God can flow through me to these girls. And pray for these girls also that they will be receptive to God's leading in their lives.

"Praise God from whom all blessings flow! Praise Him all creatures here below! Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts! Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost! Amen."

The Weather

The great thing about Iowa is the weather (I know, right?!) The thing about the weather in Iowa is that it is sooooooo predictable. If it's crummy outside you can predict that it will stay that way through the following weekend and ruin whatever plans you had made. You can also predict that if it's really nice out (you can define "nice" for yourself if you'd like) that it will not stay that way for long! Refer back to previous point.

For example, today is September 2, 2009. Typically, the weather in Iowa for this time of year is cool mornings (60s), hot afternoons (80s or 90s sometimes), and cool evenings (70s down to 60s). These are the days when you're turning the heat on in the car in the morning and the air in the afternoon and if you have to go out in the evening you probably have the heat on again. Today? It was around 55 when I woke up this morning. I think I saw a high of around 75, and right now it's 72. Not at all typical - but lovely nonetheless! I heard a rumor that we might be expecting some rain overnight but who knows, really? I clearly missed my calling (based on my August QA stats at work!) of being a weather-person. That is the only job that I know of where you can be wrong almost 100% of the time - and still be employed!

I was at Southridge Mall a few years ago and I stopped in the hottub store to admire the pretty hottubs (I would love to have a hottub, just for the record.) There was an informational video playing on the TV about proper care and maintenance of a hottub and the spokesman was talking about temperature differentials and how hard they are on the shells of the hottubs. I have lived in some other areas of the country - particularly the southeastern US. I know that it gets cold there in the winter but I'm going to pull out a cliche here: It's a different kind of cold! In Greenville, SC, for example, the town will shut down if snow flurries start to fall. In Iowa, we almost forget how to drive on dry roads - that's how commonplace it is to have snow here. Our yearly temperature differential is about 125 degrees. It is not uncommon for us to see temperatures at 20 below in Iowa in February. And it's not just cold - it's cold, wet, and windy! It is equally common for us to see temperatures in excess of 100 degrees in Iowa in July and August - usually the 10 days of the Iowa State Fair are the worst. Heat indices (actual temperature combined with humidity = what it really feels like outside) can be as high as 110 or more.

In Iowa, we are the picture of the life of a butterfly. About this time of year we start wrapping ourselves in our coccoons of winter clothing and the farther through fall we get into winter you can just barely see our hands, feet and faces. By the time February rolls around you might be able to make out our beady little eyes through a scarf, hood, and ear muffs, but other than that we look like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow People. As the snow begins to melt and the ground begins to thaw around March or April we gradually start to pull our way out of our coccoons one layer at a time. By May we are on the cusp of life and by July we're completely free of our coccoons - it's too hot in there! A lot of people, or so it seems, seem to think that it's just too hot for clothes - period! I really can't believe the lack of clothing on people these days! Then just a few short weeks later we start the cycle all over again.

So, who's going to come visit me in Iowa in February? How about August? Come on now, don't be shy...

Intro to Us

I am Tessa. I'm a zoo-keeper - or so it feels like most of the time. I have 2 cats, Mickey, 7, and Lucy, 6. I also have 2 Yorkie-Poo dogs, Comet and Starr, 3. The picture on my blog is of Comet. We live in the booming metropolis and capital of Iowa, Des Moines. For those of you not familiar with the mid-west: Iowa is directly south of Minnesota, north of Missouri, west of Illinois, and east of Nebraska. Contrary to popular beliefs we are not the state known for growing potatoes. We do have running water, electricity, and our houses do not have dirt floors or grass roofs. :) We are also home to the Big 10 Iowa Hawkeyes (Go Hawks!) and the Big 12 Iowa State Cyclones.

I fill my days at work and my evenings with my pets - for now anyway. I spend a lot of time reading and writing. Most of my writing is about my life - the truth is stranger than fiction, after all! Some of you reading this blog may know me personally and that's great - I look forward to hearing from you. Some of you may be strangers-to-me, so to you: "Hi there! Nice to meet you!"

A note here about what you will be reading on this blog: All of the things that I write are my own personal opinions, questions, comments, concerns, observations, things that I've learned, things that I'm struggling with, etc. You are welcome to comment, share your own stories, or ask any questions. I welcome all different view points and will enjoy conversing with you - even if we disagree. I absolutely love an intellectually stimulating conversation!

Another, most important note: I am a Christian. I believe that salvation is by grace through faith in Jesus Christ and His death, burial and resurrection from the grave to pay the price for the sins of all mankind. I believe that this salvation is the only way to Heaven when this life ends. I do not and will not apologize for that belief. Many of the things that you will read on my blog will be about my relationship with and walk with God. Feel free to agree or disagree but you will not change my mind and it's not up to me to change yours, either. That being said: I am not perfect nor do I, or will I, ever claim to be. I have failed in many things - you will read about some of those things here. The point of my story is not to blow my own horn. I will share the things that I believe God has laid on my heart to share with the hope of providing encouragement to others who may be struggling.

I think that's about the end of my introduction. If you have any questions or comments feel free to post them here. This is going to be fun for me so I hope you have fun, too!